Thanks to all of you who had nice things to say about my efforts in yesterday’s Sydney Marathon. I had been putting in early morning training all through the winter months, so having the opportunity to run around the streets of Sydney, unhampered by traffic, and in spring- time daylight, was a great reward. 

I have been running regularly for about ten years. When I first started I would go around the block, alternating between running  and walking the distance between telegraph poles. After a few weeks I managed to run the whole block without walking. Then I just kept trying to run a little farther each time. What I really liked was that there was no special equipment or costs (except shoes), I could do it any time of day or day of the week, there was no skill to master, and I only had to open my front door to get to the training venue. 

Since then I have really come to enjoy running and it is definitely an essential part of my life and one of the ways I maintain balance and wellbeing. Apart from the obvious benefits to physical health, running also has many positive impacts on memory and learning, mood, anxiety and sleep. Its for these reasons that I always encourage people to give running a try if  they struggle with feeling down, unmotivated, anxious, or low in confidence. So if this sounds like you, why not give it a try and let me know how you go. Jon

​Meet Ted - this morning he woke up late because his alarm was incorrectly set to “pm”, on the way to work he was cut off in traffic and couldn’t find a park. At work he had too many interruptions to get his work done, then when he got home kids wouldn’t stop arguing. After dinner he tried to get online but it kept buffering. He went to bed feeling defeated and depressed. 

Ted’s experience is a common one. The day starts off on the wrong foot and everything seems to snow-ball from there into the recognisable “bad day story”. 

But with practice even a dedicated pessimist like Ted can learn how to identify and strengthen the *positive emotions* which spontaneously occur each day. And if Ted can do it so can you. The truth is that some of us are born naturally more depressive and pessimistic than others. If you tend to think this way then you will find it easier to recall depressive and negative aspects of your day rather than the optimistic and happy parts. This is not so bad in itself but it can undermine your emotional wellbeing and this has been shown to have a direct impact on your relationships, physical health, and even life expectancy. 

But real improvements in these areas can be made if you accept that  recognising positive emotions is a skill you can learn. And skills are improved with practice and repetition. 

For example, Psychologist Martin Seligman has shown that people can make measurable improvements in mood, happiness, and life satisfaction by making a new nightly habit. To do this you spend a couple of minutes revising the day and identifying three things that ** went well** and also **why it went well** and then write these three things down.

I have tried this exercise myself and often recommended it to  clients. It’s sometimes hard to get started but it is always a surprise to people to recognise how much of life they let go by unnoticed, preferring instead to focus on “what went wrong and why”.

So with practice, Ted might learn see new elements in the “bad day story” we heard about earlier. Over time his state of mind will shift towards a more open and balanced interpretation of life. 

In addition to all the things that Ted noticed in his “bad day story”, he could also learn to see that his shirts were ironed and his coffee was hot; he felt the Spring sun on his forehead in the morning; he heard his favourite song on the radio on the way to work; he received  some positive feedback on a project he’d been working on at work; and he watched TV with his wife because the internet was broken. 

This year Psychology Week (6th -12th November) will be focusing on improving wellbeing through the promotion of exercises like this from Martin Seligman’s *Flourish* theory of happiness which is described in five steps Positive Emotions, Engagement, Relationships, Meaning, and Achievement. Over the next few weeks   I will be writing about these aspects of happiness with suggestions for ways that you can make these changes in your own life. 

Today is World Autism Awareness Day, which is an annual day to increase understanding of the Autism Spectrum Disorders, and to improve the acceptance of people with these types of diagnosis.   

Autism is characterised by lifelong trouble with social communication and interactions, as well as repetitive and limited behaviours, interests, and activities. It is described as a “spectrum” because it is identifiable in a range of intensities and this affects how much support people need with the disorder. 

Because Autism is about communication troubles and narrow interests, it is often difficult for people without Autism to understand those with the condition, and vice versa. This can be very isolating, frustrating, and frightening for both children and adults with the condition. Of course having Autism does not mean that you are less emotionally sensitive or less intelligent than anyone else, so people with the condition often become anxious and depressed because of the isolation and rejection they feel from others. 

These additional problems can be addressed through psychotherapy, however a better solution is to help create an environment which accepts that people with Autism are part of the bigger picture of what it means to be human. This way we can all learn to appreciate the frustration and loneliness that may come with Autism, but even more importantly, we can create a better society by appreciating and incorporating skills and ideas that come with different minds and perspectives. 

Research shows that early diagnosis and intervention is key in helping people Autism Spectrum Disorders thrive. By doing this, parents, teachers, and caregivers are able to tailor their approaches to support children in the way that best suits their needs, preferences, and abilities. 

For those of you who are wondering about their toddlers, I have included a link to an Autism screening tool (M-CHAT-R) which is designed for use for children between 16 and 30 months (2 and half years). I stress that this is a guide only, but it may help you to decide whether it is worth speaking to your GP or psychologist for further assessment. 

As always 
take care 
Jon

https://www.m-chat.org/mchat.php

I know that a lot of people come into therapy feeling  embarrassed or disappointed with themselves. To admit you aren’t coping seem like failure, and we often believe that we should be able to manage everything on our own. Yet everything you have learned about yourself and your life has come from interaction with other people.

The simple fact is, we need other people to survive no matter what how old we are or what roles we have in life.

​I recently came across this article about an Australian Academic, an expert in his field, who found himself unable to cope with the pressures of a television interview. In it, he gives a very honest account of his long standing anxiety, and also describes how liberating it has been to share his difficulties since the incident. In a sense, I guess he is no longer anxious that people will find out about his anxiety.. and that’s a great step forward!

I have provided a link below to the article that appeared in the Sydney Morning Herald. Within that is a link to his blog recounting the moment. 

​

Imagine a baby elephant that is taken from its home to live in a circus. At first the elephant wants to run away, so the trainers tie the young elephant to a wooden stake using a chain. The elephant pulls and pulls against the wooden stake trying to free herself, but the stake doesn’t move. She learns that she does not have the strength to move the stake and so gives up trying. 

Now imagine the same elephant thirty years later. She is fully grown; strong and powerful enough to pull down the entire circus tent if she chooses to. Yet each night she is chained to the very same wooden stake which had held her captive all those years ago. It never occurs to her to pull against the stake, because she trusts her experience. 

And elephants never forget.

Maybe you too feel trapped, or unable to break free in your life. Have you considered that your assumptions about the world might be based on old information? Perhaps things have changed. Maybe you have grown. Maybe now is the time to re-evaluate your strengths. 
To learn more from elephants try the video below.

Take care
Jon

​

Many of us find it hard to try new things. We know that it would be good for us to to eat healthier, exercise more, or worry less about what other people think. We can devise plans to help us achieve these goals, yet when we try to put plans into action we find ourselves stuck. It’s as though something inside is warning  you not to continue.

These “warnings” are really self- limiting beliefs like “I’m not good enough”, “the world is dangerous”, and “people can’t be trusted”. These beliefs tend to encourage people to overemphasise negative aspects of life and restrict their attempts to change. After a while this becomes a habit and people don’t even realise its happening. 

To deal with this, it’s helpful to; 

1. Recognise these beliefs when they come to mind
2. Appreciate that they are habits you have developed, not facts, and 
3. Accept that even though your beliefs seem right, there is no reason to believe they are right in this particular instance.

As you work on this you will be free to put effort into developing more constructive mental habits. A nice place to start is to identify your strengths and to focus on these as you go through the day. You will probably notice your self- limiting beliefs emerging as you try and do this, if so think of it as a chance to acknowledge and deal with those beliefs. This way you are getting double the effect!

If you are struggling to identify your strengths then you could start by clicking on the link below and either reading about different strengths or completing the questionnaire at 
https://www.viacharacter.org/survey/account/register.

Until next time 

Jon

Watching the Australian Open last night I was reminded of just how strong the relationship is between our emotions, our bodies, and our actions. If you were also watching, then you would have seen the downward spiral which developed between Daria Gavrilova’s emotional state and her performance. As she began to make mistakes and unforced errors, she became visibly more frustrated and this frustration led to more careless playing. 

Whilst we may not always have a worldwide audience watching on, we are all susceptible to this process. As humans we are guided by our emotions and are driven to express this to others in our facial expression, body posture, and movements. As we mature we usually learn to balance our emotional reactions with more measured and thoughtful responses. Sometimes however, we feel powerless to stop our emotions and our rational side seems to go missing. This is because the parts of the brain responsible for emotional processing (and for physical responses) are the first to receive new information about the world around us. When these brain regions are over stimulated the capacity to think rationally goes offline and does not return until we calm down. By this time the damage is done and we typically feel embarrassed, regretful, or guilty, about the whole thing. 

But we are not powerless against this. Firstly, its liberating to understand that this is a normal part of life and that even the most rational among us will be overwhelmed by emotions at times. Secondly, your ability to calmly pay attention to your emotions, body, and behaviours can be increased with practice. In time you can improve your awareness of how your mind and body respond to stress (eg. changes in breathing, body temperature, heart-rate, muscle tension, and gastro-intestinal sensations). This sense is sometimes referred to as interoception. Improvements in interoception allow for better opportunities to access your rational mind in a crisis or emotional situation. 

My suggestions to improve interoception include any body- focused activity like; yoga, tai chi, martial arts, dance, pilates, swimming or running; or you could try mindfulness meditation; creating art or music; or regularly writing about your feelings. Some people I have worked with prefer to just focus on the development of a still, quiet space in their days. It really doesn’t matter what you choose to do, as long as you commit to the practice.

If you are interested in developing your interoception, why not start by having a look at the link below or looking into one of the other activities I’ve described. As always, Im more than happy to speak with you or arrange a session if you want to learn more. 
​
Until next time, take care
Jon


https://vimeo.com/131682712

Well the Christmas tree has been packed away for another year and its time for me to get back to the office. And of course I’m not the only one who is getting back into work mode. Over the next week or two, thousands of school students will be returning to the classroom, some for the first time. For most there will be mixed emotions as a new school year starts, but for some the dread, anxiety, and fear, will be overwhelming. 

Parents often ask me the best way to help with back to school anxiety. Usually these parents aren’t sure when its right to push their child, and when its best to provide comfort and support. Most times my response is two fold. First, keep in mind that the best thing you can give your child is a supportive and safe relationship with you. If you keep maintaining this relationship then your child will grow up knowing that her feelings are ok, that you are looking out for him, and that all situations can be overcome with time. Second, it’s worth considering your own anxieties. Often the anxiety you see in your child is a reflection of yours. Learning to accept your own emotions and to improve your responses will help you to be calmer with your children and strengthen the relationship you have with them. 

I have attached links to a couple of really helpful books for those of you who would like more information on children's anxiety. There is also a link to the "Cool Kids" Anxiety Management program which I will be running throughout the year.

Please get in contact if you would like to speak with me or make an appointment. 

​Take care
Jon 

http://www.centreforemotionalhealth.com.au/…/cool-kids-prog…
http://www.amazon.com/Freeing-Your-Child-From-…/…/1452657033
http://www.goodreads.com/…/5378359-helping-your-anxious-chi…
http://www.amazon.com/What-When-You…/…/ref=pd_bxgy_14_img_2…